Use caution while eating in the shower

If any of you watch 30 Rock, you will see the similarities between me and Liz Lemon. When I told Señor Marine that I made my dream list of languages to learn based on which culture's food I liked best, that definitely sealed the connection for him.

There is a certain part in season one where Liz has a nagging fear of dying alone in her apartment and no one finding her until her body smells so much the neighbors complain. I admit, I have had this fear my whole adult life. Even in the military, I feel like my absence could go uninvestigated for a while.

This explains why the other day, when I was in the shower eating chocolate (yes, IN the shower), and I started to choke, I probably panicked more than the average person. That's because all I could think about was that the neighbors were going to complain about the smell and then the cops would find me, naked and dead, in the shower. I did NOT want to be found naked! Or dead, for that matter.

As my panic grew, I continued my feeble attempts to cough out the chocolate and thankfully, up it came. That's when Señor Marine, who apparently had been yelling, "Are you okay?" from the living room, came rushing in to make sure I really was okay. He, unlike me, was being reasonable in his attempts to make sure I wasn't dying, and when I didn't answer, decided it was time to be concerned.

And that's when I realized, at least one person will track me down before I become a bloated corpse in the shower. Ah, love.

Bedtime reading

Every now and then, Aquaman and I like to jump on the bandwagon. But not until the wagon has long since rolled past and everyone else has hopped off.

So, right now we're sitting on the empty bandwagon that is The Hunger Games (the books, not the movie. Because we might actually be part of the crowd if it were the movie I was talking about).

Anywho...we are reading the first book together. And by together, I mean Aquaman reads it out loud to me at bedtime while I periodically interrupt to fill him in on 'how that happened in the movie'.

But we only made it through chapter one before Aquaman left for a week in the tropics. And I'm pretending that's the reason I'm feeling a little left behind. Not because I'm at home with the five cyclones and no root cellar to hide in. Nope, not that at all.

Wife of the year award

I guess Aquaman didn't reassure Lanky after their discussion about how Lanky's going to find himself a wife. (Oh the trials of an 8 year old boy).

This morning Lanky had the (mistaken) idea that I would be helpful to talk to.

"Mom, what if I end up with a mean wife?"

I smiled at my precious little boy. "You'll get to know her before you get married. You won't have a mean wife."

"But what if she is mean?" Pause for consideration. "Why do you pick on Dad all the time?"

Yep. Just doing what I can to permanently ruin all the kids. And my husband as long as I'm at it.


Let's look at that picture of true love one more time...