Calling Merry Maids

Lanky walked in on me teaching SassyPants and Pipsqueak how to say "We live in filth and squalor." (Embracing it with a language lesson seemed like a better idea than actually doing something about it. Like cleaning.).

"What's filth and squalor?" Lanky asked me. I explained and he nodded.
"Yeah, our house is a mess. You aren't very good at cleaning."

And off he went, on his merry way.

At least he wasn't telling me something I don't know.

--Kae--

Why being really lonely is sometimes super awesome

I stole the title from a Scrubs episode I had on while I was getting ready. JD apparently labeled a blog post as such. I'd like to read that.

On an unrelated note, Señor Marine and I have been steadily working through a few TV shows from start to finish. It's what we tend to do on nights we have no energy to be as awesome as we usually are. We have made it through How I Met Your Mother and Chuck and now are simultaneously watching Stargate SG-1 and 30 Rock (one of Señor Marine's favorite shows and one of my favorite shows). I am really hoping during the 10 seasons of Stargate I will be enlightened to one of my life's mysteries. In my past years as an EMT, I had this one psych patient who thought they were in the Bermuda Triangle and, while transporting to the hospital, whispered, "SG-1" to me. When I asked what that meant, the patient answered, "Man, you don't have the clearance." Then they proceeded to pass out. If I don't know what that means after watching Stargate SG-I in its entirety, I may need to be admitted to the psych ward myself.

I have several sparkly pieces to show you all, but the final pictures aren't taken yet, as it's been raining a lot so I can't spray acrylic sealer on my shoes and leave them outside so my apartment doesn't smell. Soon. I promise.

I leave you with some words of wisdom from Bob Ross, the guy I spent my childhood watching on PBS. (And yes, it's better than, "Let's paint a happy little cloud right here. Just a happy cloud.")

Adult content

Aquaman walked in on my watching this:

And asked if I was watching a clip from Saturday Night Live.

Of course not, Aquaman. Your wife watches children's programming even after the children are in bed.

--Kae--

Wife of the year award

I guess Aquaman didn't reassure Lanky after their discussion about how Lanky's going to find himself a wife. (Oh the trials of an 8 year old boy).

This morning Lanky had the (mistaken) idea that I would be helpful to talk to.

"Mom, what if I end up with a mean wife?"

I smiled at my precious little boy. "You'll get to know her before you get married. You won't have a mean wife."

"But what if she is mean?" Pause for consideration. "Why do you pick on Dad all the time?"

Yep. Just doing what I can to permanently ruin all the kids. And my husband as long as I'm at it.


Let's look at that picture of true love one more time...

All dogs go to heaven

While Aquaman did a little bedtime Bible reading with the small-fry, Specs mentioned that dogs go to heaven. He said that when Grandma's dog, Tanner, died he went to heaven.

Matilda missed a couple links in the chain of rational thought (or maybe she was the most logical of us all) and informed us all that when Tanner died, Grandma buried him. She buried him so he couldn't get out again.

Yes, Matilda thinks Grandma buries her most beloved pets alive. I don't want to know what the little sociopath thinks about me.

And now Bible study time has moved on to Lanky expressing his concern that he may end up with a bad wife. So they're talking that over. Because honestly, people, the boy is already 8 years old. Time's
a-wasting if he wants to find a decent wife.

Glitter! Sparkle! Shiny!

Tomorrow I am having a craft day with some of my friends. I feel my crafts will involve copious amounts of glitter and probably end up with me covered in sequiny splendor and my actual intended piece completely barren. I have researched my idea, trust me. Glitter shoes are my first victim. Since that will probably end horribly, I will have to go with glitter glasses. In my head though, it's going to end up beautifully. Like this:

In reality, it will probably end up terribly, but I have seen enough blogs that tell how to do it that maybe I can handle it. I promise, I will do my best to document the horror. More likely I will be out of control and glitter everything. I'll have to apologize to the Marine Corps when Señor Marine shows up for work covered in sparkle.

This is how we roll

Aquaman and I decided to load up the kids and share our entertaining selves and children with other parts of the country. Namely the sunny and warm parts of the country. Like any good, responsible parents we put a lot of thought into this as well as lots of preparation. Meaning, we decided on Sunday we should drive to Florida and we left on Thursday morning.

This is our chariot that carried us the entire 3,500 mile round trip. There were also some containers with food strapped to the top at the start of the trip, but we lost them somewhere on the interstate around 3am in Kentucky. I have visions of hillbillies feasting on homemade muffins, store brand Ritz crackers, and really expensive trailmix made with almonds to accomodate SassyPants' peanut allergy.

Out of all seven passengers, I think Lanky was the most excited to be released from his seatbelt prison. Because he was looking forward to the wonderland of Florida, it was like travelling with a hamster with ADHD.

These two spent quite a bit of time on the beach with me and were happy to model for me while I practiced using our big, fancy camera. The camera we've had for six years and I've just now decided to learn how to use (that motivation may have something to do with the fact that our little point and shoot camera died somewhere in north Florida).

Family picture time because I had a camera and a beautiful outdoor background and by-golly you'd all better just sit still and cooperate.

A romantic beach picture of me and Aquaman. Pay no attention to the small child who wandered over to join in.

In an effort to distract the kids from the drama unfolding right in front of our campsite (that many elderly snowbirds and an ambulance or two- and three police cars- are bound to show up)...

...I let the kids take turn playing with the expensive camera. Obviously you can see from my happy face that I soon realized what a good idea this was.

But at least we got this beauty of a picture before we put the camera away. It's like a work of art. Seriously.

So, that was our trip in a nutshell if you just add in lots of snorkeling, laying in the sun, and bike riding. No pictures of our scenic stays at truck stops and Home Depot parking lots, sorry to say. And then we came home to a foot of snow on the ground in the Holler. The end.

Korean compliments

I admit, I have been slacking on my blogging. Kae and Kompany (oh yeah, that just happened) are on vacation, leaving me as the sole caretaker of the blog. She promises posts full of rolicking tales and shenanigans tomorrow, but I have to keep up my end of the responsibility at least a little bit.

So, this week was full of too much running and too many push ups. Not really, but I like to complain about having to do even the slightest bit of PT. I joined the military not even able to run two miles without having to stop for a break. Thankfully I'm in shape now (like I have a choice) but that doesn't mean I like it. That much PT made me too cranky to write a post.

This week, the Koreans, along with the rest of us, whipped up a batch of some good Korean home cooking. Señor Marine was allowed to come eat with us, and it was the first time the Koreans had met him. Of course, this happened to be on a day when he was in his service dress (not his blues, but a less formal version of his blues, for you non-military people. Blue pants, long sleeved brown shirt with a tie and the white hat. I tried to find a picture but apparently no one on the internet wears this particular combination, ever), so he showed up in his fancy clothes and his white hat, looking like a poster child for the Marine Corps. And of course, the Korean women fell instantly in love with him. Every single one told me how handsome he was and how we suit each other so well. I had never heard that part before, but I took it as a compliment. One of them explained the next day about how it's a really high compliment in Korea, for a husband and wife to suit each other. She said our faces match really well. I'm pretty sure Señor Marine is pretty thrilled to know his Mexican face looks like his Jewish wife's face.

Although, now that I think of it, we always joke how Señor Marine is really married to the Marine Corps and I'm just his mistress. His face does suit his Marine hat....?

I have also been busy immersing myself in hipster music. There is not a good music scene in this area, so myself and my hipster wingman try to keep connected through friends from home. Our current favorite song, known to our group as "The Glitter Witch Song" was actually courtesy of Kae.


"Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men

Look it up. Trust me.