Why my wedding dress should be part of my daily wear wardrobe

Pardon me if I look a little crazy today. I have spent my time madly throwing away clutter in me and Señor Marine's apartment, prepping for the moving company to come tomorrow and Friday. Tomorrow  it's the bigger one, as they will be packing and taking away our furniture, dishes and random non-necessities to put in long term storage until Señor Marine and I are reunited in a real life house. Señor Marine will be allowed to stay in our apartment a little longer but let's face it, the chances of him cooking anything more than a pot of canned soup or doing anything but sitting on the one couch left behind playing Minecraft are zilch.

It was also very upsetting when I was telling Señor Marine that it will be a pain in the butt to drag my wedding dress all over the country with me. That's when he replied with a reasonable, "Why don't you just throw it in storage?" And for some reason, that thought had never crossed my mind, and for some reason, putting my gorgeous 번쩍번쩍 (sparkly) wedding dress into some musty, dreary storage unit was quite upsetting to me. I mean, can you blame me?

Look at those gorgeous ladies.

Anyway. Señor Marine came home from work to find me with my Jewfro in full force (from the stress and mad heat in the house), the house in total chaos, and my wedding dress and bouquet lovingly spread across the couch. Señor Marine said this was all better than what he expected, which apparently was me sitting IN my wedding dress, eating ice cream and sobbing while I watch Dirty Dancing or some other dopey chick flick. Not surprisingly, he forced to sit down and watch a mindless episode of Stargate SG-1 with him.

And all of this to say, Kae had better rewrite our blog intro, as she is no longer a twenty-something (HA! Outted you!) and Señor Marine and I will no longer be blissful newlyweds living on the coast.

I shall leave you all with my dose of awesome for the week. And as was pointed out, I specialize in saving the world, not linking awesome music to awesome blogs, so if it doesn't work, Kae will clean up my mess.

Bee out.

Let the good times roll...

We finished our standardized testing for the year (thanks Governor D. for not doing away with those things for homeschoolers when you had the chance last year. I'll let you know how I feel about that in the next election). And I've had a headache for four days straight, which may or may not be related to standardized testing (I'm blaming you for the headache as well, Governor D).

I feel like we all deserve a fun day. But Lanky just started talking to me about "The Inflatable Hulk" and was shocked to find out it's actually the Incredible Hulk (welcome to ESL land). And over the weekend, Matilda showed me a tooth that was maybe a little loose, then trotted back two minutes later to show me that she had pulled the tooth. (Me flapping my hands and trying not squeal out a girlie, "Eeeeeewwwwwwww!" ensued). Because she's done this a time or two before, I'm starting to fear for her permanent teeth that aren't at all loose. (Because who does that?! Who pulls a tooth out of their head that is not loose?!)

So the moral of the story is, maybe I think we'd be better served today by sitting around the table and working diligently on some vocabulary. Or reading. Or science wherein we learn that teeth are supposed to be attached to your jaw unless they fall out on their own. And then take a standardized test to prove that we learned it.

Yes, let the good times rollllllllll....

*Why yes, this song was performed by the opening act at the concert Aquaman and I semi-recently attended

--Kae--

One of those episodes where the writers are so lazy they just recap instead of thinking of new material

Some of you may have noticed how silent Bee's end of things have been. Here is a recap of things you may have been missing:

*Señor Marine is recuperating well from his knee surgery. Still no running allowed and he actually told me he misses running. Yeah, I think he's gone crazy too.

*I am now governmentally certified to be a badass in Korean. Next stop...some barren wasteland where bases are always fondly built!

*Señor Marine and I are now in season 8 of Stargate SG-1 and I still have no idea what my former psych patient meant when he told me, "dude, you don't have the clearance." Other than maybe, in the show, random conspiracy theorists show up and demand to know about the Stargate and they don't have clearance to be shown it. Or something.

*I saw Derek Jeter get beamed in the head during a baseball game. I was the only one who cheered.

What a baby.

*And just because I like this:

*Click here for awesomeness and pep. (and pretty much just an great song)

You have now been hipsterfied.

Bee out.

Tsunami 2012

I called Aquaman at work this morning (9:30 am to be exact) after I was 3 hours in to a tantrum with Sassypants. 3 hours is kind of my limit. I pretty much just called to pitch a little tantrum of my own.

About 2.4 minutes after hanging up, Matilda told me that Pipsqueak had spilled water in the kitchen. All Over The Kitchen. There was no way any child spilled that much water. After a quick lap of me frantically swimming through the kitchen, bathroom, dining room, entryway, hallway and laundry room I found the source of our flood. The washing machine, not Pipsqueak. (He doesn't know how lucky he is).

2 hours later, after:

Specs told me "No thanks, that's boring" when I screamed for him to man a bucket and a sponge,

Matilda hauled bucket after bucket of water outside, dragged wet towel after wet towel outside, and moved chair after chair to dry land,

We saw Noah float by on his ark,

Lanky  bailed out the washing machine by hand to stop the free flow,

Sassypants tried to pitch a tantrum, but couldn't compete with the shop vac (Thank God for a vacuum that sucks up water),

...we were left with a stack of sodden towels and a muddy floor. Which was extra awesome because our adoption agency missed a piece of paperwork (a year and a half ago) so we get a social work visit tomorrow. Which led to another tantrum comment by me about what a crock that the social worker is going to see a clean house and happy kids tomorrow and will have no idea what real life is actually like. Thanks for your seal of approval anyway, lady.

But in the midst of our clean up, while I tried to convince Lanky that one day we'll laugh about this (he's a little less than convinced about that), I realized that wearing soggy pants and manning a shopvac in the middle of my flooded house was a better day than my best day working outside the home. Which then made me think that I must have had a string of pretty crappy jobs prior to staying at home with the kids. I love being a homebody/mom that much.

And I'm too tired and too vain to share any pictures of the current state of disarray. So use your imagination. I think it's covered in Genesis.

Links (not of the sausage variety)

Since no one is tending this blog (Bee, you have a computer and therefore could post. I know because you skype me from your computer), I thought maybe I would just point you in the direction of some better, more active funniness.

Camp Patton is guaranteed to ease your guilt about anything you do as a mother. Until you see what Grace does with were mad sewing skillz. Or baking. (It doesn't matter if she has skillz or not, she bakes at all and that's all that matters.)

Wit not Leisure needs to be mentioned now, before Mrs. Grey blocks me from her blog. (I used to think it was creepy to lurk on blogs, but have now decided that it makes me a bigger creeper that I comment on the poor woman's posts almost daily).

And if you're looking for celebrity news (because I'm willing to bet you're classy like that if you're friends with me), you shouldn't be getting it from anyone but Suri. Because she serves the news with a side of snark. And that makes me feel like a bigger person.

Maybe someone will own up to running this blog. Maybe.